Sunday, January 15, 2012

Bartel Runeaxe


This card reminds me of the old "one of these things doesn't belong" children's activities. The problem is that even a blinded monkey-child could see that vigilance has no business on this dude; I've been pretty fast and loose with the ability in my remakes, but it really oughta go on white creatures first and foremost.
This is another legendary creature we don't know much about, though. His flavor text is most of his history. From it, we know he's a hard-to-stop badass and we know he's from Hammerheim. (There's some information about him elsewhere -- Wikipedia has some bits, f'rexample -- but it's garbled and seems to come from the Gosta Dirk entry, which looks like fan fiction to me. I can't verify the information on Wikipedia anywhere else, which didn't bother including a source. We're just going to go with what's on the card.)

I'm going to focus on the "hard to stop" aspect the flavor text -- the bit that says, "no foe could slow Bartel's charge."


So, he's certainly not slow now. Man, my Legends remake is certainly shaping up to have a lot of beaters, isn't it? Oh well, we'll get to The Abyss eventually and ruin everyone's fun.

On the type line, I went with elf warrior because he looks like an elf: he's got pointy ears and a dumb hat. Gatherer insists he's a giant, but I can't cotton to that -- look at the boarded-up door behind him. Those would be some large timbers if he was even on the small side for a giant -- say 12 feet or so. It would also be an unusually large door in any context. (Certainly not a door you'd slap two timbers on and say, "Whelp, that's boarded up! No one's getting through now!") I guess it's possible he's a giant midget, but that's borderline offensive, and I'm a little ashamed you brought it up.

No comments:

Post a Comment