Boris Devilboon

This guy's an unusual little dude. He makes small token creatures -- not a strong suit of black or red -- and he introduces "minor" as a creature type. Keep your Twiddles and Bone Flutes to yourselves, boys, this guy packs jailbait.

In the revisionist stories, Boris is a human wizard raised to undeath by Ramses Overdark; in his zombie form, his minor devils are tougher than they were in his live form. Tetsuo Umezawa carves Boris down (like he does everyone, apparently) in his Mad Thirst for Revenge™. Pre-revisionist, Boris was a trickster who played his pranks on underworld inhabitants; I like that flavor, but it doesn't really match the card.

This is the first time I've really wanted to use a block mechanic -- this time, undying -- but it's just not something we could use in Legends. What the hell, though -- here's what I would have done for him in bizarro world:

Since I can't do that, I'll do something a little different. Legends is known for its bizarre spells and effects -- I'd even argue that the mind-blowing silliness of some of the cards is the set's defining feature, even more than its namesake legendary cards -- so we'll jump in with some crazy of our own.

How's that for nutty? Seriously, that'd be one of my favorite generals. Tutor for Goblin Bombardment and rituals, play him a billionty times -- the deck just builds itself, and it'd be a blast to play.